Tantruming has worked for him exactly never, so I don’t get why he thinks it will get him somewhere now. The funny part is he’s usually screaming what he “wants” to do, and it’s the behavior he was supposed to be doing but got punished for not doing, which lead to the tantrum.

“I WANT TO LISTEN!!”

“I WANT TO EAT MY DINNER!”

It’s a bit of back-door thinking. I’m sure this is what’s going through his head: If I tell mom I really want to do the thing I didn’t do because I didn’t want to do it, she’ll take away the consequence and all will be well!

Good luck with that.

Anyway, this is what I hear when he’s screaming: AWIOUFOIAENOIFO!!!

So his screaming efforts are lost on me. 

While all this is going on, I’m having some thoughts of my own. If you’re an uptight-type parent who would never dream of even thinking of doing something to shock your child into submission, stop reading now because this is guaranteed panty-waddage fodder. These are thoughts. Everyone has them. Even bad ones. The vast majority of us don’t act on them. However, sharing them helps us realize that we’re all in this together and we’re all pretty similar when you get down to it. And that means we can stop feeling guilty for wanting to throw Junior across the yard.

Thought 1: This must be what it sounds like to torture a monkey. 

Thought 2: Can’t I just close the door and leave it there for a while?

Thought 3: I wonder how far I can throw him.

Thought 4: Spraying water in his face might work.

Thought 5: Maybe I should invite the local teens over. This could be effective birth control.

Thought 6: UUUUUUUUGH!

Thought 7: He’s either gonna get laryngitis or make himself pass out. Maybe the hubby and I should start taking bets.

Thought 8: I need wine.

Thankfully, the child is in bed now. I know my sweet little boy will come back to me at some point, after he’s sufficiently tested the waters. Til then, I’ll be making Thought 8 my mantra.