Owls Are Frickin Awesome

I’ve recently decided that I like owls. They have so much personality. In fact, there are a number of reasons why I think owls are what I would call the Hugh Jackmans of the bird world.

Like eagles and hawks, they are birds of prey. They mostly eat small rodents and insects (though I’m speaking in generalities here because there are more than 200 species).  Here’s a key difference between owls and other birds of prey: we take apart owls’ pellets (those things they cough up) to put the little skeletons together and see what they ate. Remember doing that when you were in school? You do now. What other animals are awesome enough that we would do that? The answer is none. We marvel at the bones of their dinner.

I was doing a little research in preparation for this post, and I learned something that makes them even more awesome in my eyes. One owl is called an owl. A group of owls is called a parliament. You know, like the governing body of England who wore powdered wigs in the 1700s. Know what a group of crows is called? A murder. This is why owls are awesome and crows are creepy as hell.

Owls are mostly nocturnal, but some are crepuscular, meaning they are active at dawn and dusk. I think this could be because they are less likely to be seen during these times. You know, like ninjas. They can glide across the night sky without making a sound, and swoop down to catch a rodent in the dark because their sight is so keen. You try doing something like that. I can’t even sneak up on my cat. I’ve also discovered that owls crush their prey to death in their talons. How is there not a super hero modeled after an owl? I bet Hugh Jackman could play him in a movie.

See the instructions for making this felt owl here.

Kick-ass hunting skills aside, owls are adorable creatures (my comparison to Hugh Jackman applies here too. sigh). Would you want to create a felt craft like the one at left fashioned after a crow? Of course not, because like I said before, crows are creepy as hell. But I digress. Owls are cute for several reasons. First, its large eyes give it an almost inquisitive look, and they can move the muscles around their eyes that appear to give them varying facial expressions (see the one pictured below). They also have little curved beaks. Contrast this with the beaks of pelicans. Pelicans aren’t cute. There is a reason for this.

Owls even deter obnoxious animals. People put fake ones by their houses to get rid of woodpeckers. I think this is the equivalent of putting a bouncer at the door of a fancy club so the obnoxious little wiener guys who just want to irritate everyone can’t get in. I’m pretty sure an owl could beat up a woodpecker.

(Scene: At the door of the fancy bird club)

Owl: Sorry, you can’t come in here.

Woodpecker: Come on, I just want to tell the ladies about my latest WoW achievements!

Owl: The ladies don’t want to hear that.

Woodpecker: Sure they do! I’ll badger them to death with how important I think I am until they think they can’t get rid of me!

Owl: Do you want me to crush you in my talons?

That would be awesome! I think I’ve made my case for owls. Stan Lee – it’s time to get busy on that new super hero.

One thought on “Owls Are Frickin Awesome

  1. Pingback: Want a Whole Bunch of the Same Types of Gifts? Tell People You Like Something | Allison Maruska

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