Anyone who spends five seconds on the internet knows there’s a ton of obnoxious crap out there. Most of it is harmless, but some can give your computer viruses or steal your identity. Everyday I see something that makes me want to punch a hole in my monitor, but that wouldn’t really solve the problem. Here’s what I’ve run into recently.

1.) You can’t click anything to get 50 bazillion facebook friend requests. And seriously, why would you want that? Just talk to people you know.

2.) No company out there is dying to give free gift cards to anyone. That wouldn’t be very solid business practice.

3.) You can’t win a contest you didn’t enter.

4.) There is no link to a “shocking video” of a naughty daughter or Justin Bieber getting stabbed.

5.) Don’t give anyone your cell number for test results of any kind on the internet. You’ll end up signing up for a monthly subscription of some kind. (My husband was about 2 seconds away from doing this before I realized what he was doing and stopped him.)

6.) Jesus will still love you if you don’t share that post.

7.) That doctor doesn’t really need any “likes” to save a dying baby.

8.) No one gives a crap if you comment first. Go get some real goals.

9.) There are no hot singles dying to meet you. Sorry.

10.) Bookmark Snopes.com and check forwarded emails and posts before spreading the nonsense yourself.

I’m sure I’ll have more in a week. It would be nice if hackers and cons would get real jobs and stop sucking at life, but that likely won’t happen, especially if we the people keep spreading their garbage. Please share with every noob you know.