Cat Door Misadventures

Things don’t always go the way you plan. This is a tale of that very lesson.

We have two cats: Lily and Meeker. Lily is small and sweet and afraid of everything. Meeker is big, in charge, and loves to go outside.

E72123E9-EFC8-49A3-895E-89F1EEF45452

That’s Meeker after he rolled in sidewalk chalk art.

Meeker loves going outside so much that he doesn’t care who he has to bother or what time he has to bother them to get there. If it’s 4AM and we’re all sound asleep, well that’s just too darn bad.

Me: 😴

Meeker: MEOW

Me: *stirs, rolls over* 😴

(Repeat for about twenty minutes)

Meeker: MEOW MEOW *scratches carpet*

Me: *blearily admits defeat and lets him out*

This arrangement got old and irritating. So in early June, we installed a cat door, hoping that Meeker would let himself in and out without bothering us.

95656FE0-CDEE-4BD2-B994-88D7C2CF047C

This cat door, in fact. Yes, it’s sideways and on the floor. I’ll tell you why but you gotta wait a minute.

It worked great for a little while. Meeker no longer interrupted our sleep. And then, the small visitors started arriving.

12539D7F-FFA3-45DD-926F-5A5F0E5ABA45

Meeker and one of his bunny friends.

Bunnies sure are cute, aren’t they? I’ll tell you something else about them: they aren’t fast.

Not fast enough to stay away from my cat’s mouth, anyway.

Meeker soon discovered it was great fun to catch bunnies and bring them inside through the cat door. He didn’t kill them. He liked to let them loose in various rooms and chase them as they jumped around.

I read that cats do this because they think we’re stupid kittens who don’t know how to hunt. He must have thought we were especially stupid because one night he brought in four bunnies.

I got really good at catching bunnies.

Meeker must have emptied all the nests he found because the bunnies eventually stopped arriving. But our animal troubles weren’t over.

A couple of weeks ago we went camping, comfortable with leaving the cats alone for a few nights. I grew tired of smelling like nature before the rest of my family, so I left early and headed home. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered the house.

Our cats, who usually hate each other, were standing together at the top of the stairs, I believe in solidarity. The looks on their faces along with their meows said you won’t believe what happened.

Shocked Not Safe For Work GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I ventured into the dining room, where we set up the cats’ food. And my suspicions that something was wrong were confirmed. Their feeder had been ripped apart, the canister was missing, their extra bowl was completely empty, and their water was spilled.

The cats were orbiting my legs so I refilled their food and water and went in search of the canister, which I found in the back yard.

That was our first “encounter” with the raccoons, which I affectionately named Bonnie and Clyde.

5F1844A4-F131-4F6E-94AC-E3EB58CDE947

This is a stock photo representation of Bonnie and Clyde.

Clyde is a huge raccoon (too big to fit through the cat door), so I imagine he sent Bonnie inside to do the dirty work, bringing out the canister for him. They ate every single bit of a week’s worth of cat food in one night.

So we had to start locking the cat door at night, which meant two things: 1. Meeker would start waking us up again, and 2. Bonnie and Clyde would get pissed over their new lack of access.

When they tried to get in the first night the door was locked, they flipped over a water bowl I keep out there for Meeker. Petty jerks.

That routine went on until two nights ago, when I forgot to lock the cat door.

I got up around 3AM to see if Meeker wanted to come in, and I realized my mistake but didn’t worry. Surely, Bonnie and Clyde would not still be checking if the door was locked, right?

Wrong.

I must have scared Bonnie mid-caper because there was cat food all over the floor and the canister was detached from the feeder but still in the house.

Annoyed, I went to lock the cat door, which isn’t easy to do. You have to position it just right to get both locks to engage or it will still open one way. I usually had to go in and out to get it.

Only I wasn’t going out, because Bonnie and Clyde were still on the deck. Staring at me. With their burglar stares.

I yelled at them and banged on the window, but their little raccoon faces said we don’t GAF. And then Bonnie started creeping up on me like:

Creep GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

And I was all:

No Way Fuck This Shit GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I couldn’t get the door locked from the inside, so I did the next best thing–I ripped out the cat door, shut the window, and locked it in Bonnie and Clyde’s jerk faces. Which is how the door came to be where it is now.

To show their appreciation, they tipped the water over on their way off the deck.

So the cat door lasted about two and half months. We may or may not put it back at some point, depending on how long raccoons live and how long we can tolerate Meeker waking us up.

19 thoughts on “Cat Door Misadventures

    • We will probably have to go that route. We didn’t the first time because they’re more expensive, and the window units (our only option) are way way more expensive. My husband built that frame around a $25 cat door. We thought we were so clever. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  1. We know all about the joys of owning a cat and a catflap in our house. We don’t get quite the clientele that you have, but a steady stream of all the neighbourhood cats instead. We get all the living gifts too, which we could do without!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cats… gotta love them. I remember when you got little Meeker….
    I am glad Monster is an indoor only cat. He isn’t so happy about it, but I KNOW he would probably do like Meeker and bring me rabbits to play with, and other such creatures….

    Liked by 2 people

Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s