I think my inner child is a 12-year-old boy, and the result of this is snickering at words that sound funny. Words I encounter in writing are no exception. I’ll start by giving the actual definition of these words as I understand them. Because, you know, learning. Then I’ll offer how people might describe the imaginary medical problem to others.

Blurb

Literary definition: That short paragraph where you have to cram the plot of your book into four sentences. Often the cause of great stress.

Medical problem: “The baby just blurbed on me, and now I have to change my clothes.”

This comes from the brilliance of The Oatmeal.

Semicolon

Literary definition: A punctuation mark used to divide two independent clauses without a conjunction. Often missing when it’s needed.

Medical problem: “These horrible stomach cramps probably come from my misplaced semicolon. Ouch.”

Plot hole

Literary definition: A logic gap in a book’s plot, causing implausibilities or confusion.

Medical problem: “I can’t come in to work today, because I’ve developed a gaping plot hole. No one can even look at it.”

Back matter

Literary definition: The writing on the back of a book.

Medical problem: “I have to get a biopsy done on my back matter. It might turn into a plot hole.”

Inside flap

Literary definition: That flappy part of a book cover that folds around the hard cover of a book.

Medical problem: “My inside flap is itchy.”

“Wow. TMI.”

Dependent clause

Literary definition: Part of a sentence that can’t be a sentence by itself. It needs an independent clause to be complete.

Medical problem: “If my clause wasn’t so dependent, maybe I could walk without this rolling scooter. But on the other hand, weeee!”

I wonder, are there similar words in other professions? Please share, because I like to snicker.