The Child’s Code – Part 4

Part 4?? I know, I wrote Part 3 like a year and a half ago, but my youngest did something last night that warrants a new chapter in the Child’s Code saga. Something shocking, yet it appears to be a rite of passage for most little ones.

He gave himself a haircut. Check it out.

Nice, huh?

My husband cut the rest as short as he could, but the part the kid executed is nano-meters long, so it still looks – well, like a kid did it.

That’s enough back story. On to the list! See the other Child’s Code posts for numbers 1 – 15 (use the link that says “Part 3” at the top of this post to get there).

16.) Sneak into your room with a pair of scissors and cut four inches of hair from the front of your head. Make sure you establish a long history of playing well by yourself in your room before you do this so your parents will suspect nothing until your handiwork is complete.

17.) If you’re awake at 5 AM, it’s completely reasonable for everyone else to also be awake. Bang on your wall until this is achieved.

18.) Napkins are for sissies. Wipe your messy fingers on the chair. Bonus points if whatever you’re wiping leaves a stain. Quadruple bonus points if it’s a holiday and you’re at Grandma’s.

19.) The best time to lose a ball or frisbee in the neighbor’s yard is 4.5 seconds after Mommy or Daddy has retrieved it from a different neighbor’s yard. Chances are it will just stay in that yard, but it’s worth a shot.

20.) Know what’s awesome? Knowing how to say your full name. Know what’s awesomer? Burping your whole name at the dinner table. This is especially effective if your mom is the only girl in the house. She’s outnumbered. Mwahahaha!!

Will there be a Part 5? Who knows. Maybe one of my kids will do something new and shocking to warrant it. Leave your ideas for other Code items in the comments in the meantime.

4 thoughts on “The Child’s Code – Part 4

  1. “Wipe your messy fingers on the chair. Bonus points if whatever you’re wiping leaves a stain. Quadruple bonus points if it’s a holiday and you’re at Grandma’s.”

    Almost – almost – got me to laugh out loud.

    Makes me wonder why you don’t write comedy books.

    Like

  2. Pingback: The Child’s Code – Part 1 | Allison Maruska

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