My family takes a few road trips a year. They all seem to end up with the same series of events. Each event is listed by elapsed time in the trip followed by the event.

00:00 Leave the house.

00:05 Take a mental inventory of packed supplies.

00:10 Go back home to retrieve camera (or some other forgotten item).

00:15 Leave the house again.

00:20 Deny child’s first request for a snack.

00:25 Stop at a gas station so child can pee. Let child have snack.

00:30 Finally get on the interstate.

00:35 Clean up child’s spilled snack.

00:45 Exit the interstate to stop at a gas station so mom can go pee.

00:50 Get back on interstate.

01:00 Decide to start movie for child.

01:30 Stop movie because child is asleep.

01:35 Restart movie because child wakes up asking why the movie is off.

02:00 Exit interstate for lunch and potty break. Child insists he doesn’t need to go potty. Parents don’t make him to avoid a tantrum.

02:45 Leave restaurant, get back on the interstate.

02:55 Exit interstate for gas station so child can go pee.

03:05 Get back on interstate.

03:10 Exit interstate for gas station to get gas.

03:30 Eliminate all noises so child can sleep.

03:40 Mom – yell at dad for whistling out of boredom.

04:00 Exit interstate for ice cream treat.

04:20 Change child’s ice cream covered clothes.

And it continues this way for most of the trip. I’m amazed we actually arrive at any destination ever.