My mom loves to decorate. As part of this hobby, she has many shelves stocked with all manner of interesting items. My grandpa says her house reminds him of a Cracker Barrel. I’m reminded of the episode of The Simpsons where Moe opened a family restaurant. “If you like good food, good fun, and lots…
Parent Says: Get dressed.Child hears: Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror. I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials for the Rosetta Stone, that program that’s supposed to teach you how to speak a new language in a short amount of time. I’m considering authoring one of those types of programs for the language of…
In my chosen profession, I work with kids everyday. My particular group is a class of third graders. This is my tenth year teaching the same age group, and I’ve noticed something with increasing regularity. Kids don’t know how to be bored. I’m not talking about valid times where boredom can be expected, like when…
It’s Mother’s Day, meaning I’m naturally thinking about my mom. Some would call her anal (including myself), others would say she’s compassionate (including myself), among other characteristics. Following are some traits of hers that I think help to make her who she is. Some of these might seem strange, but really, if we weren’t all…
Anyone who spends five seconds on the internet knows there’s a ton of obnoxious crap out there. Most of it is harmless, but some can give your computer viruses or steal your identity. Everyday I see something that makes me want to punch a hole in my monitor, but that wouldn’t really solve the problem.…
Do you read the tags on your clothes to see how you’re supposed to wash them? I do the first time I wash something. It’s more out of curiosity than out of necessity. I predict some clothing manufacturers are extra-careful with their care instructions so we don’t prematurely destroy our clothes. My lack of attention…
It’s called an ellipse. You’re supposed to use it to show omission of material in a quotation. It’s those three little dots that we see in all sorts of places these days, and not just in quotations. Here’s what I think are the hidden meanings behind ellipse use today, especially on the internet. I’m covering…
My family takes a few road trips a year. They all seem to end up with the same series of events. Each event is listed by elapsed time in the trip followed by the event. 00:00 Leave the house. 00:05 Take a mental inventory of packed supplies. 00:10 Go back home to retrieve camera (or…
I tried to bake a cake today. This was the result. Mind you, this was after the things fell in the oven and I had devised a way to fill in the craters with frosting. Now, there will be no cake. Tear. I’m more of a cook, as in preparing meats and sides in a pan…
It was only a matter of time before I wrote about her. I have a very large, old, obnoxious cat. Her name is Tika. Meet Tika I adopted Tika in the fall of 2000. The agency thought she was about 2 then. I was living with a guy I was engaged to, and we broke…
Allison Maruska 