Some of you have met my alter-ego on Twitter, Bad Writer. She spends her days dishing out ill-advised writing tips and telling anecdotes about writing that come from her probably missing her calling.
That tweet is her current pinned tweet, the one that stays at the top of her timeline. Tweeps pin tweets so thoughtful followers can easily retweet content that deserves more exposure. For authors, it’s usually some kind of marketing tweet. For parody accounts like Bad Writer, it’s the “best” tweet. Whatever that means.
It could the funniest one, or the most relatable, or maybe the one that got the most likes.
Bad Writer could use a new pinned tweet, and I can’t decide which to use. That’s where you come in.
I’ve selected a handful of her tweets. Pick the one you think is “best.” You can choose one of these, or if you want to see the complete collection, head to Bad Writer’s timeline on Twitter. Either post a screenshot or describe your favorite in the comments.
And for extra fun, I’ll randomly pick one commenter to win one of my books. I’ll do that next Wednesday night, so you have a week.
And for extra extra fun, if you’re feeling creative, write a Bad Writer tweet of your own. Leave it with your Twitter handle and I’ll make sure Bad Writer gives you credit.
Now go forth and choose!
Allison Maruska 
One of these days you’ll have to do a behind the scenes Bad Writer blog post.
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“the killer is about to buy a vowel,” is the funniest one yet. I can imagine that actually happening to you.
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Thanks! I think. 🤨
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love that one
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Reblogged this on Monsters & Angels and commented:
A hilarious challenge for all you author-tweeters out there! 🤭😁🤗
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Thanks for sharing! 😁
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Omg…all so funny but I vote for “…throw glitter at them and run away.” I have pockets full of glitter I can’t get rid of 😳🙄😆🤣⚜️⚜️
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Ha! Hooray for glitter!
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glitter – that cracks me up
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“If one character is hired to kill another” is good, but “it’s called art” is PERFECTION.
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Can’t argue with perfection. Thanks for chiming in! 😎
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Ha! Ok, I have to add, wheel of fortune is tied with the thesaurus.
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Oooh! The killer on wheel of fortune is fantastic 🙂 (Of course, it doesn’t look like there’s a bad one in the bunch.)
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I wonder if the killer won. 🤔
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Well, if she didn’t I imagine the other contestants might just…vanish!
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Title: Death Buys a Vowel 💀
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Perfect.
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Death Buys A Vowel: The Case Of The Wheel Of Fortune Murders
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Someone really needs to write this…
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I volunteer you to do it…
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Lol- I’ll put it on the “to do” list
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RECOUNT!!!
(I’m in Florida; we do that)
Editor: How’s the story coming?
Me: Great. I only have to write another 5,000 words.
E: Until…
Me: Until I have 5,000 words left.
E: How long is the story?
Me: 10,000 words. *munches popcorn*
THAT
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OKAY, WE NEED TO EDIT THAT
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Munches popcorn is #3.
Killer buys a vowel is #1.
#3 is spoon trap, because I think the whole spoon thing happened in replies
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It did? I’ll have to look back.
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pretty sure
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My current BW FAVES:
Killer buys a vowel
Bob the coffee mug
800k is in my head
The one about the spoon in the garbage disposal being a trap
There was one about *east popcorn* that I liked a lot, too
NOW: which one should be crowned BEST???
Killer buys a vowel always make me laugh. Bob the mug is right up there for its metaphysical quality. 800k in my head will make me smile ten times in a row. The spoon trap was a mini story, so it’s in a league of its own
But it has to be * eats popcorn * for the win. I remembered it without a prompt. If it can’t fulfill its duties, Killer buys a vowel, my runner up, will take over.
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Great choices! If I do say so myself. 😏
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I do, too. Help me find that eats popcorn one
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Reblogged this on Dan Alatorre – AUTHOR and commented:
If you aren’t checking out Bad Writer, you are missing out – currently there have been over 900 funny writing themed Tweets that will make your day. Need a smile? BW to the rescue. because super funny.
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Thanks for sharing! 😎
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Too funny not to share
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Reblogged this on Cynthia Hilston – Author & Blogger and commented:
Me: I’m writing a horror story.
Curious Inquirer: What’s it about?
Me: It’s so bad, it’s scary.
@cynthiahilston
http://www.cynthiahilston.com
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You’ve captured Bad Writer’s vague answers. LOL
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BW Jr
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I’m liking the buy a vowel one 🙂
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That’s one of my favs too.
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Buy a vowel cracks me up every time.
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Two favorites Allison–the “if one character is hired to kill another,” and “the rain represents everything getting all wet.” (ha!) Maybe number them to make it easier? Thanks for the morning smile!
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Oh I could do that, huh? LOL
Thanks for the votes!
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Numbering messes the formatting up. Dangit. Good idea, though.
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writers don’t need numbers. too much like math
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Wasn’t meant to be.
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And yet it is
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Yes, but “Make your characters do math.” LOL
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That said, this is no easy feat as all of them cracked me up, but I’m going with, “Shhh! I think the killer is about to buy a vowel.” Of course, your pinned tweet is a good one too, but I’m going to stand by, “Shhh! I think the killer is going to buy a vowel.” It’s hilarious, and this @BadWriteAdvice is brilliant, Allison!
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Thanks! Glad you enjoy it. 😎
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talk about a scary story
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You won the drawing for a free book! Congrats! Please send me a message via the Contact Me page and let me know which book you’d like. 🙂
This is the link to my author page so you can see your options.
https://www.amazon.com/Allison-Maruska/e/B00RAS3NFE
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