Must This Anniversary Be Unlucky?

/ December 27, 2015

This week, the hubs and I will celebrate our anniversary.

Our 13th anniversary, to be exact. Our marriage is officially a moody teenager.

You know how each anniversary has a meaning that goes with it? Like the 1st is paper and the 25th is silver? I looked up the 13th, half expecting to discover it’s the broken mirror or spilled salt anniversary. It’s not. It’s lace.  

I first thought they were items that became increasingly harder to break as you go along (the 60th is diamond), but that’s not the intention. They’re supposed to be gifts. So on your 11th, you should give your spouse something made of steel to signify the strength and permanence your marriage has after eleven years.

After the 11th, the gifts become fancy, because the couple has endured the supposedly difficult first decade and can now enjoy the finer things (like silk, lace, and pearls). I guess something made of lace would be nice, but the hubs and I had a different idea. 

Back in August we decided to take a cruise to celebrate our anniversary this year. We haven’t taken a trip that was just the two of us since before our oldest son was born nearly eleven years ago. So we’re due a getaway.

Of course, that requires someone to watch our kids for a week, so I called my mom.

Me: Joe and I want to take a week-long anniversary cruise in March. Can you watch the boys?

Mom: In March? Your anniversary is in December.

Me: … I know that. We’re hoping for spring break.

Mom: This is your thirteenth, right? That’s not a big one.

Me: Big one?

Mom: You know, ten, twenty…

Me: …

Me: …

Me: *blinks rapidly*

Me: I don’t think the cruise line will mind that our anniversary isn’t a round number.

This conversation went in circles for a little bit before she accepted the fact that the hubs and I could take a trip on our number 13 anniversary. And 13 being unlucky wasn’t a factor. She’s not superstitious, and when I was in high school I took a trip with my orchestra that involved sailing through the Bermuda Triangle on Friday the 13th. I lived to tell the tale, so I’m good. 

My mom’s OCD aside, there’s another reason we decided to take the trip. Around the time my grandma passed away last May, my grandpa offered some advice: spend your money on experiences, not things. That’s what he and Grandma did. Camping trips. Long drives in their fifth wheel through Canada to get to Alaska. New Zealand. Europe.

The day I write this would have been their diamond anniversary, so I think he was on to something. 

Experiences. Building memories. Living. 

So we’re taking the advice of my elder and doing exactly that. The hubs and I are forsaking all other gifts to each other (Christmas, actual anniversary day gifts) to make our cruise even more memorable, with more exciting shore excursions and a fancier cabin. 

And after nearly thirty-six years of being alive on this planet, I’m finally getting a passport. 

So instead of this anniversary being unlucky, I’d say it’s the one where we’ll turn a corner, deliberately carving out time and resources to simply experience life together.

I can’t wait to start building new memories.

 

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15 thoughts on “Must This Anniversary Be Unlucky?”

  2. Congratulation! Allison, you look like a schoolgirl holding her man hand just giggling in photo. I would listen to grandpa he had a lot of experience…. Its better to enjoy life while you can don’t wait until it’s too late. Enjoy your cruise take time for yourself the bond with your husband will be even stronger. Have Fun!

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  3. Congratulations Allison, to you and Hub! Thirteen years is awesome. I remember an aunt telling me that the first year was always the hardest. I’m not sure that any are actually “easy”. It all takes work. Might be fun, but effort is required. Congratulations also on getting your passport. I was 53 before I got mine!!! With a passport you never know what adventures are in store, waiting just around the corner. I was amused at the conversation with your mum – as if you needed an excuse! Enjoy! It sounds marvellous!

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  6. Yes…experiences are everything. 2015 was 40 years married for me (and my wife!)…we didn’t exchange gifts… just created more memories. I’ve probably mentioned it along the way somewhere in my blog or Twitter…but just in case you missed it… London-Paris by Eurostar…overnight train to Verona…onto 3 days at Lake Garda…then train to Venice…7 day cruise around Greek Islands…return to Venice for 2 days…train back to Paris for 2 days and then return to London. And we relived it all Christmas morning with a digital photo frame gift loaded with our digital experience. Enjoy your cruise…and all it gives you. Eric

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  7. Have a lovely time! Totally agree about the experiences, not things…thing. 😉 Hubby and I were in Turkey this summer and we took a mad 24 hour trip to Istanbul. Tiring day but so worth it!

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  8. I like the idea of spending money on experiences and not things. Taking our daughter to Italy last March has been amazing to hear about ever since. She saw a replica Leaning Tower Of Pisa (called the Leaning Tower of Pizza, a restaurant in the Keys) and remembered it completely: the big open grassy area, the tower, all of it. A recent newscast mentioned New York, and she remembered it, too. We changed planes en route to Italy and had to walk outside in 15 degree weather for about 4 blocks’ worth of distance, at night, but it counts as being in New York and she remembered it. She recounted the walking in the snow between terminals. Because Florida kids don’t do that a lot.

    I’m sure a lot of good memories await you on your cruise.

    One piece of advice: get started on that passport thing NOW. It is not a cakewalk and it is not fast anymore.

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    • Yep, kids remember that stuff (adults do too; we’re just not always aware of it). The boys still talk about what we did at Disney World more than two years later. They don’t talk about their souvenirs.

      I already got the paperwork filled out and plan to submit everything this week. The website says 4-6 weeks, but this is the gov’t we’re talking about.

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