My husband’s birthday was last week, and he got a reminder from our insurance agent to see if his license expires. It doesn’t, but it reminded me that mine will on my next birthday. Which means two dreadful things will happen: 1.) I will have to go to the DMV, and 2.) I will have to get a new ID picture.

I think the reason everyone hates their license pictures is they are most likely taken after spending hours at the DMV. I heard a comic once joke that they should hire a guy to hide behind the door at the DMV to punch you in the face as you walk in. Then you’d be like “oh, this wait isn’t so bad compared to that punch in the face!”. I bet it would make my ID picture look better too.

In the title of this post, I compared the ID picture to hearing your recorded voice. Everyone else thinks it’s fine, but you are horrified to hear your own voice. I hate when I have to show anyone my ID (though I’m usually buying drinks, and showing it means I’m potentially not old enough to buy alcohol, so I can live with that), and my picture is probably fine. I just hate it. It’s like “look at my giant head! and sell me liquor for my giant head!”. No one else seems to notice, or even silently snicker.

So I guess I won’t worry about it. I wonder how much effort people women put in to looking nice for their ID photos, though. I don’t think it matters. Once you stand in front of the bright blue butcher paper and they zoom mercilessly in on your head, there is no hope for a nice shot. Maybe I’ll dress up like it’s 1987 and make people think I haven’t aged in the last 25 years.